Day 33: Madelyn Grace

Let me start with this, looking back through my blog I have no idea how I found so much time to post right after Rylee was born. No wonder I never got anything done those first few months, wow....

Well, after a long month I'm finally going to attempt to type up Madelyn's birth story. Let me just say that this month has been an incredible and fast one. Madelyn is a GREAT baby with little fussing, except when she's hungry (or if I'm showering). I feel so incredibly blessed! Plus, Rylee loves her little sister so much, I can't wait to watch them grow together.

OK, so the morning of January the 10th I had my 39w6d OB appointment. I had already planned to ask him to break my water, however, I didn't know if I'd have to schedule something for the next week. Dr. Rapp checked me and I had progressed to a full 5cm, almost 6. He stripped my membranes and told me he expected my water to break that day. It was a cold, rainy, bad traffic kind of day, and so I talked to him about having to drive 30 minutes home to drive back if it does, etc. Then, he said well if you want to head to the hospital we can do this today... WHAT?! Man, he read my mind :) I went straight to the hospital, after some lack of direction sense on my part, and got checked in around 10:00am. The nurse broke my water at 11 and the waiting game began.

We walked the halls...interesting thing to do after having your water broke.... and I bounced and rolled on a birthing ball in our room. Dr. Rapp came and checked me at 1pm and I was at a 6 or 7, so he ran to do some errands. Around 3pm, the contractions started to get pretty intense... hello transition... I got on my hands and knees on the hospital bed and things started really progressing. The nurse came in to see how I was doing and dropped the bottom of the bed so I could be on my knees in a more comfortable way. She gave me some encouragement then left me alone- something I loved about her and my doctor.

At 4:30-ish, honestly I lost all track of time at this point, the nurse checked me and I was at an 8. I wasn't sure I could take it much longer, but luckily I had an incredibly supportive and encouraging husband and nurse who kept pushing me. Sometimes close to 6, came the time to push, and I was pretty convinced that I wouldn't be able to do it, but at 6:15 my beautiful little girl was placed on my abdomen and it was the most wonderful release I've ever felt. Yup... I gave birth to my 8lb9oz baby all naturally, almost completely intervention free, and it's the most empowering experience of my life.  And yes, it hurt like no other pain I've ever felt.

Madelyn immediately wanted to nurse and did so for about 90 minutes, which was good considering I was losing a decent amount of blood and her nursing was helping to slow it down. I never once had to have a single drug during my stay. She has continued to be a breastfeeding champ.

Now a month later she is such a calm baby weighing in at 10lb12oz. We're using cloth diapers and she's already wearing 0-3mo clothes. This month has been surreal and I feel so blessed when I look around at my messy house because it means we had a fun day and my heart is full of the love from and for my 2 beautiful little girls.

So much....

So it's obviously been forever since I've done a relevant post. Things have been crazy the past few months, and I've kind of avoided the blog because I didn't know how to write some of it.

One big thing is that I'm currently 39.5 weeks pregnant---WHAT?! My due date is just in 3 days, and I'm pretty miserable. I've been having contractions for 6+ weeks now. They had to stop my labor at 34w2d with a shot, and since then I've been having inconsistently horrible contractions. I actually spent 13 hours in L&D on December 23rd, but failed to progress even with though I had contractions the entire time so they sent me home. It's been a long hard month and a half, and I never expected to make it this far, especially since they had to stop my labor. Now we are looking at a potential induction if things done kick in on their on soon. I'm dilated 5cm and pretty thinned out, and she's really low, just not having any active labor just yet. I have hardly slept in the past few weeks, so hoping we have her soon so that we have a reason to not sleep :) Rylee is getting pretty anxious too, she tells Madelyn several times a day to get out and come play. Can't wait to see them together.

Also, Rylee turned 3 on the 27th!!! I can't believe it's been 3 years since she entered our lives. We had a minion birthday party and she is still talking about it :) She had so much fun! We had lots of friends come over, and even more couldn't make it because of the nasty bugs that are going around. We missed everyone that couldn't be here, but loved watching Rylee with the people who could make it. She has learned so much this past year, I can't even believe how much she has changed in front of us. She's already changing so much since turning 3 in my opinion, she's using bigger words, putting longer sentences together, and she still has the memory of an elephant! I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us. Hopefully, we'll find a dance class to stick with, or maybe a gymnastics class. We still plan on homeschooling for preschool, but are going to tour one or two in the coming months to make sure we have considered all of our options.

And finally, on December 1st, it had been a year since we said goodbye to Preston. On his birthday, we went to church, then went out to the cemetery and spent some time there. We brought him winter/birthday flowers, and a small little elephant stuffed animal. I didn't handle it very well, and honestly didn't want to leave at all. I could've sat there crying all day. After we finally left, we went and picked out our Christmas tree just like we did last year. Paul and I had a really hard time leading up to the 1st, we laid on the couch and cried and held each other a lot. It was a lot harder than I expected it to be. I haven't been out to Floral Haven since, but want to go before we have Madelyn, so I should probably get out there soon. I miss our little man so much and the closer we get to having a new baby, the more I miss him.

But that is the last few months in a quick nutshell. We are just playing a waiting game for Madelyn at this point, and I'm pretty certain I'll be pregnant forever it feels. But we are so anxious for her to come home and join our family. It will be soon!!

30 weeks!

How far along are you?: 30 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: -1lb

Sleep: sometimes great, sometimes not so much

Best moment this week: trick or treating with Rylee was a blast

Movement: strong but very random and sometimes she goes hours without moving, then gets an energy burst

Food cravings/aversion: Potato soup... oh my gosh I would kill for a bowl right about now

Gender: Girl!

Belly Button in or out: In, starting to get funky looking and flat at the top

What I miss: not stressing about pregnancy

What I'm looking forward to: seeing Maddie on Tuesday

Milestones: Only 10 weeks left!

Not much has been going on on the baby front. Madelyn's room is almost done decoration-wise, but there's still a lot of organizing to do to get it officially ready. Though as long as she has a place to sleep and a car seat to get home safely in, and some clothes to wear, I'm not too worried. 

There were a couple of days this week that I thought we were going to have a Halloween baby. There was a lot of pressure and some contractions (most likely Braxton Hicks) that had me down for awhile, and we were seriously close to heading to L&D. Thankfully, they let up and I'm just making sure I don't overdo it. It's still way too early for her to enter this world. I plan on talking to my doctor about it on Tuesday to make sure everything is still looking good and that she's of course still healthy. Her lack of movement during the day freaks me out sometimes, which of course probably doesn't help. 

Paul and I are just so ready for her to be in our arms where she belongs. I'm hoping with the approaching holidays and birthdays that what little time is left flies by. 

Viability

How far along are you?: 24 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: -1lb

Sleep: finally

Best moment this week: spending time with our siblings with an impromptu game night

Movement: very active in the morning and before bed, gives me random kicks throughout the day so I don't panic

Food cravings/aversion: Still no mac & cheese or eggs

Gender: Girl!

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: at the moment, not much of anything

What I'm looking forward to: seeing Maddie on Tuesday

Milestones: Viability!!

24 weeks marks a very significant date in anyone that has experienced a pregnancy/child loss (or anyone who knows and understands the importance of this time). This moment in pregnancy indicates that the fetus is now viable and with extreme life saving measures and a top rated NICU a baby born now could survive. Thankfully, we are delivering at a hospital that has a highly rated NICU and Children's Hospital. Hopefully, it won't be necessary but I like knowing that we will have easy access to it if need be. Once we made it past 17 weeks, 24 weeks was my goal to shoot for, now that we are here, it's all about sitting back and enjoying the rest of this crazy ride (like I'll actually be able to do that haha). I know that horrible things can still happen after 24 weeks, but the comfort that something could be done to save Madelyn if worse comes to worse is indescribable. 

This past week I made the crib skirt for Maddie's room and it looks FANTASTIC :) or at least I think it does! I'm really happy with how it turned out. Next on the list is the curtains for her room. I had one idea in mind, but today my mom mentioned something that I like more, so we'll see about that :) I'm going to give my back time to recover first before venturing into that project though. 

I'm so happy with how things are coming together and the time inbetween it all taking place. With Rylee, we got everything done all at once that the end of the pregnancy seemed to last even longer. Now that we have a toddler and know there's really no rush and as long as we have a car seat and a place for her to sleep we are more than prepared, we are taking our time, which makes the pregnancy seem like it's going along at a nice speed- though I'm so ready for January and for her to be here (but that's because I'm not the enjoyable pregnant woman). 

Rylee loves her little sister so much already. She talks to her almost daily and tells me all the things she's going to teach Maddie and all the things they are going to do together. I can't wait to actually watch them grow together and have that sisterly bond. We are at such a great place with Rylee's age and with this pregnancy that life is pretty fantastic in our familial department of life. I couldn't imagine having it any other way- obviously other than Preston being here. 

Tuesday, we get to go see Little Sister and make sure all is going well. I'm sure that it is, she seems bigger and stronger every week from where she punches and kicks me. Can't wait to see what she looks like now :) 

4 years

A lot was going on around this time 4 years ago. We were in the process of buying our house and getting our apartment packed up. We were also newlyweds, which is huge in of itself. But something EXTRA HUGE happened on this day 4 years ago.

Paul was a 2A and worked the early morning Friday shift at work. I got up to get ready for work but decided to do something first. I took a pregnancy test, I wasn't technically late, but had a feeling. And this is what I saw....

I absolutely freaked out. I was completely ecstatic. I immediately called Paul and told me- there was no way I was going to make it through a day at work without telling him. He was of course thrilled. 

That evening after work we decided to have an impromptu date night- one of the things I loved about living in Tulsa, everything was right there. I'm sure we went to dinner but I have no clue where. We went to Barnes & Noble and picked up a few pregnancy books, walked around the baby section at Target and "ohhh" and "ahhh" at everything, and then we ended the night putt-putting. 

It was such a fantastic evening. We were on cloud 9, and we had a secret that no one else knew and we relished in it. The next day Paul took off work and we went to an Arkansas Razorback game with my parents- still keeping our secret and giving each other secret smiles and winks.

Words cannot truly describe what we went through those first few days. There was so much love and so much excitement shared between us. Little did we know our lives would change forever in just 4 short weeks, but at this moment 4 years ago, we were happy. 

We still love our Peanut and always will. 

20 WEEKS!!!

How far along are you?: 20 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: -1lb

Sleep: hahahaha only with the help of some lavender oil

Best moment this week: seeing my little girl this past Monday

Movement: very active in the morning and Paul has felt her already

Food cravings/aversion: I'm hungry

Gender: Girl!

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: brushing my teeth without dry heaving

What I'm looking forward to: getting the nursery painted

Milestones: HALFWAY!!!!!

Today marks our halfway point! I'm so excited to be on the downhill slope with this pregnancy. The first half was a rough one, emotionally and physically- so I'm happy to be over the hump. 

Last night laying in bed Paul could feel Maddie rolling around in my stomach and his eyes were priceless! So cool to see him get excited and experience all of this again. We are finishing up the painting for the nursery this weekend, as soon as we pick out what gray we want to use on the walls. 

We also made the decision to change OB providers. Nothing was wrong with who we were using, I just want to deliver at a different hospital that he doesn't deliver at. So I'm changing to my cousin's OB who came highly recommended from some other moms I know. Even better, he does ultrasounds at every visit, so I will getting to see my little girl all the time now. How exciting is that?! I meet with him the first time on Tuesday, and I'm pretty excited and feel very confident this is the change we were meant to make. 

This whole experience has been surreal and as much as I'm ready to have her here I know I'll never experience this again and that makes me a little sad. But I know that will all go away when I have her in my arms. 

Perfection

Yesterday we had our mid-pregnancy ultrasound and though the images weren't that impressive in my book (compared to others), it was absolute perfection. I was surprised when we got there and they were using my original due date of 1/11, so I'm excited that that is what I'll be using from now on (meaning there will be no 19 week update, since it bumped me up 5 days)! Madelyn's head and torso was measuring 1 week behind, but Rylee's always did that too and when I was pregnant with Rylee the tech told me those values were accurate +/- 1 week. Her long legs were measuring right on schedule though. She had a heart rate of 141bpm and this tech confirmed to us that we do in fact have a girl in there :) I was pretty worried since I just bought a bunch of baby girl clothes at JBF that she would end up a he. We didn't get any front of face shots because she was being pretty stubborn and kept her hands in front of her face the whole time, but the slight profile view we got is great and I got to compare the pic to Rylee's 19 week ultrasound. I think there's a good chance they'll look similar, but still have distinct facial qualities. It's all going to come down to the color and quantity of hair haha

My OB called today and let me know all looked normal and great on the ultrasound. So happy to not have to worry about that pesky tissue mass anymore and I can potentially enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

Even better, laying in bed last night, Paul had his head on my stomach. Madelyn gave him 3 swift kicks to the ear and he felt the last one :) What a special moment for all of us! Now I can't wait for Rylee to feel her kick.