Yesterday she was amazing! We smiled, we laughed, we played, we had photo shoots. It was great! She was awake from 11:30 to 3:00, and then she took a nap. Little did I know that when she woke up at 5:00, I would have a completely different baby. She ate when she woke up, and then all hell broke loose. I know her fussing is related to some kind of pain that she's in, but that doesn't make it any easier. In fact, it makes it harder. The fact that I know she's in pain and I can't help absolutely kills me!
Her crying/screaming lasted until about 11:45 when she finally fell asleep. She surprisingly slept until 6:00, but I don't think it was a good sleep for her. Ya know how you feel when you sleep a lot when you don't feel good, but when you wake up you don't feel any better and you feel like you haven't even slept? Well, that's the look Miss Rylee had on her face this morning. Since then, she's been just as fussy (I don't even know if fussy is the right word to describe how she's acting), but also sleeping A LOT!
I've spent the day holding and rocking her, and of course telling her how much I love her. She'll give me a fleeting smile and coo and look at me like she knows I'm doing the best I can, and those brief moments give me hope and happiness to get through the screams and the pain I know she's in.
I never knew I could feel so much pain for another human being, especially one that's so tiny. I knew I would love her, but to feel the pain that she's in and to look in those eyes and see her pleading with me to help breaks my heart and though I do really good to hold myself up, I lost it a few times today. It's interesting when I was holding her crying, she gave me a look like she understood that I was upset.
Babies are the most interesting thing to me at this moment...
PS I think a trip to the doctor's about this issue will be in the near future...
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