Flip flopping..

Wow, 3 posts in 1 week. Kind of a miracle, wouldn't you say? I have to chronicle another great moment. I've been feeling flutters and some rolls/stretching for a few weeks now, but last night laying on the couch I felt definite kicks, pops, rolls, etc. Luckily, I was watching a movie so I got to lay in that spot for 2-ish hours and feel my baby girl moving around. Then I went and laid in bed and didn't want to fall asleep because she was still moving around. I truly forgot how amazing that feeling is, and I can not wait for Paul to move able to feel her. This morning after Rylee woke me up, Madelyn gave me 2 swift kicks as if saying "yeah get up mom!" or maybe it was more "ugh, let's go back to sleep" :)

I never thought I could be this in love again. I can't even describe the love I feel for this unborn baby. I have no fears any longer and I'm looking forward to getting her room ready. We're DIYing most of the room and I can't wait for it to have a little bit of all of us in there- I think I'll even let Rylee make some of the wall art :)

Sugar and Spice

Today has been the absolute best day for this pregnancy. Not because I didn't have any cramps or wasn't in pain some part of the day, but because when I saw my little baby on the monitor today not only was there a heartbeat but there was no visible sign of the mass we saw 8 weeks ago!! Praise the Lord Jesus!!! I have never wanted to cry such happy tears during an ultrasound scan- I'm not one of those women that lose it at the first blob, yes I get excited but no tears. Sprout was in some kind of yoga position for part of the scan, had the legs completely straight rolled over the head. Holy long legs, Batman!! I still can't believe I get to bring another miracle home in a couple of months. I can't wait to really start preparing for this sweet baby. Rylee is so very thrilled about seeing what's in mommy's belly and she's even more excited about what the sex of Sprout is, it's what's she's been saying this whole pregnancy.

And here is little Sprout

Miss Madelyn Grace

Yup, this winter we will bringing home another little girl :) Though I was convinced, and all the Old Wive's Tales were too, that this little was a boy, I couldn't be more excited to give Rylee a little sister. I can't wait to raise another beautiful little girl. 

The yoga move I was speaking of. Legs stretch the length at the top, then you can see the roll of the butt to the back on the left and eventually see part of the head at the bottom of the roll. 

I'm so in love, I didn't even think it was possible. Is it January yet?!

16 weeks and 8 months

So, it's been over a month since I posted. Oops... today, I want to start with Preston and end with Sprout, so that we end on a positive :)

Today, has been 8 months since I've held my sweet, sleeping little boy. I can not fathom that it has been that long. It feels just like it was yesterday. I can still remember every single detail about him even though I haven't seen him since the night he was born. I'll never forget being in awe that he had finger and toenails, that was just mystifying to me for some reason. You read about it and when you're baby is born at the end of your pregnancy you expect it, but for some reason it was just crazy to me. Being 16 weeks pregnant now is kind of terrifying for me. 16 weeks with Preston is when things went from bad to worse. I started experiencing extremely high fevers, severe cramping and bleeding, the worst headaches of my life. 16w3d was the last time I heard his heartbeat, though I tried finding it for several days after that, and ultimately had him the day I turned 17 weeks.

Thankfully, this time around, other than some light to moderate cramping and stabby feelings, and a 24 hour fever from a cold Rylee gave me, I've felt pretty OK. I don't want to say great, because I haven't felt great. The cramps can be severe at times, nothing like with Preston, but they still hurt like the dickens and I have to lay down. I've also felt very sore in the baby area, thinking maybe it's just from being pregnant kind of back-to-back and things stretching faster. My doctor doesn't seem concerned about it. I just can't believe, technically, a week from now I was holding Preston, just 8 months ago- clear as mud?? Already, enough negativity... I still miss my little boy daily, but I'm starting to get real excited about this pregnancy...

How far along are you?: 16 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: -3lb

Sleep: Some nights are good, some nights are horrible... last night was horrible

Best moment this week: Rylee kissing my tummy yesterday

Movement: Sometimes I think I feel something, but not certain... was truly expecting it by now though

Food cravings/aversion: mac & cheese and quesadillas are on my "never again while pregnant" list.... anything salty, starchy, full of protein is my go-to at this point

Gender: Find out in 2 days hopefully

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: clothes fitting comfortably

What I'm looking forward to: seeing Sprout in 2 days and hopefully finding out boy or girl!

Milestones: Making it this far without losing my mind? Haha I don't really know... baby is about the size of an avocado.. oh and Paul and I agreed on names recently :) 

This Sprout is so very loved and I can't wait to see his/her face again. The mass that is potentially growing with babe will prayerfully be gone when I get the ultrasound on Saturday- though it's just a quick one it should be easily spotted if it's still there. I scheduled our official mid-pregnancy ultrasound yesterday for the 19th. So that's exciting to be able to see all of the important organs and get an official check on the mass. I've been doing some research and if the mass continues to grow it could definitely cause some issues and babe will most likely have to be born early due to either lack of or too much amniotic fluid- I've read some articles as early as 33 weeks. I pray that this isn't the case but I know that God knows what He's doing and if babe is born early than Paul and I will get through it the best way we know how... together. I just can't wait to bring this little bit home and move closer to completing our family- we're considering adoption in the future since I don't plan on being pregnant ever again! 

Truly, I'm getting excited this pregnancy and the further we get the more excited I am. I even bought some newborn cloth diapers and will hopefully get a few things from JBF on this tax free weekend once we find out what he/she is. I'm making plans for the 3rd bedroom and potential "sip and see" rather than a baby shower for after baby is born. Thinking about the future is quite the positive and not just waiting for a shoe to drop, I talk to Rylee about the baby daily and she tells me she's not a big sister yet lol some days she wants a baby brother and others she wants a baby sister (in fact it tends to change from minute to minute). Can't wait to tell her what she'll be having :) 

I still can't find my camera cord so I've stopped taking weekly pictures for now, but I do take some self portraits and put them on instagram/facebook, but that's a picture-y as it's going to get for now. 

11 weeks

Long time, no post. The past several weeks have been kind of surreal for me. I know that I'm pregnant- the amount of hunger I feel every couple of hours reminds me of that- but I just don't feel pregnant. Heck, I even look pregnant- I never have a bump this early- but I just can't wrap my head around it. Tomorrow is my 2nd appointment with my OB- I never had a second appointment with Preston, I cancelled my 2nd appointment with my old OB and scheduled with my new one, but was having to wait an additional month for it.

This 11th week is pretty significant and frightening for me. 11 weeks 2 days is when I started having bleeding and severe cramping with Preston. I'll be 11 weeks and 2 days tomorrow. I know it's not logical to think that tomorrow the floor is going to fall out from under me, but it''s still there in the back of my mind. Tomorrow, my OB plans on trying to pick up baby's heartbeat with a fetal doppler. I have yet to pick it up with my doppler, so it makes me a bit worried since I picked up Preston's heartbeat around 10 weeks. Hopefully, they calm my nerves and find it, even if it takes awhile.

I keep thinking about this "soft tissue mass" that is in the sac with Sprout and all the things that could be happening because of it. I worry about it not allowing for proper growth, about it growing and squishing the baby, or that it could just be diminishing in size and causing no issues. Honestly, that last option doesn't frequent my thoughts.

I hate that I feel so negative, or pessimistic, this go round, and if all turns out alright I worry that I'll regret not enjoying every minute of this, but it's SO HARD. I can't even explain how hard it is to try and be excited. I can't wait to see our babe again and hopefully put this fear behind us.

Until next time

2nd ultrasound

So I've gotten behind on my pregnancy updates- still taking pictures, but can't find my cord to upload them to my computer.

Yesterday, we had our second ultrasound. The first one through the PRC showed a small white mass in the sac with the baby, on the opposite side of the sac. The tech had no idea what it was. I mentioned it to Dr. T at my first appointment last week and he ordered an ultrasound so he could get a look at it- I never got pics from the PRC since their printer was done.

We went in yesterday and I was very very nervous. I've had some cramping, nothing as bad as I had with Preston, but still worrisome because of my history. I wasn't expecting good news, but was happy to see the flicker of the heartbeat yesterday of our Sprout. Unfortunately, I also saw the mass still. Not only was it bigger, and now lumpy, but it has also moved to be right next to baby. I've had several ultrasounds at this time of pregnancy and have NEVER seen anything like that, and I can't find anything on Dr. Google either. Still waiting to hear from OB about the radiologist's report, but kind of expecting bad news or more tests at the very least.

Here are the pictures of our Sprout, and that nasty little bother. Baby is in the lower right of the sac and the mass is above baby in both pictures. The circle with mostly black in the center is the yolk sac.

6 weeks

5/19

How far along are you?: 6 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 0

Sleep: So excited

Best moment this week: lounging the weekend away- it's been our first non-busy weekend

Movement: Too early

Food cravings/aversion: Eggs aren't my favorite but I'm still eating them for breakfast

Gender: I have a hunch

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: Being able to enjoy pregnancy

What I'm looking forward to: I signed up to be a "model" for an ultrasound training class on the 24th.. just 5 more days!

Milestones: Sprout's heart is now beating and it's the size of a sweet pea

This morning I woke up to pretty intense cramps- not as bad as with Preston, but still bad- and brown spotting/discharge. I spent the day chugging water and the spotting is gone but I'm still having some bad cramps. Hoping to rest and have it gone soon. 

Paul and I were supposed to get baptized today but Rylee woke up sick and with the spotting we knew we just couldn't leave the house. I know Satan is trying to rip us from our newfound faith, but he will not succeed! We still watched this week's sermon thanks to LifeChurch.tv's Church Online program. We got to sing some worship songs with Rylee then watch Pastor Craig's sermon. We printed out and went over Rylee's lesson from LifeKids.tv so she still got to do some of what she would've had we gone. She was still upset that we didn't go to church, as were we, but it was just a risk we couldn't take. We are ready to get back next week though, and participate in the next baptisms! Satan won't keep us away for our Living God! 

5 weeks

5/12

How far along are you?: 5 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 0

Sleep: I could nap... I never nap

Best moment this week: Spending Mother's Day with everyone in my family

Movement: Too early

Food cravings/aversion: I eat everything put in front of me at this point- ugh except the smoothie I made this morning

Gender: Too early

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: not a thing- I feel so incredibly blessed to be pregnant again

What I'm looking forward to: My first appointment on the 28th

Milestones: Nothing really, I guess Sprout has gone from the size of a poppyseed to the size of an apple seed so yay for growing!

I can't believe I'm pregnant again. I'm not having too many symptoms. I'm exhausted, pee all the time, and waves of nausea come over me. I can't brush my teeth without gagging (a symptom I have with every pregnancy) but at least I'm not throwing up yet. I pray that this is our take home baby and we get to love and snuggle and cuddle this baby to our heart's content come January.